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Pros and Cons: Including Family and Friends in Your Proposal

Family and friends- some you love, some you hate and some are in between. Regardless, they’re in your life, but do they have to be in your engagement proposal? 

Unlike family and (some) friends, the engagement proposal is one of the few things in life you have complete control over. And even that isn’t completely true, because things like the weather and traffic do not appreciate being told what to do. But who’s involved is completely up to you. Having photographed over three-thousand proposals nationwide (and international), we’ve seen every type of proposal idea. There is no wrong or right one, there is only what works best for you. And including said family and friends in the idea can turn out great or it can turn out, well, not so great.

The biggest advice we could give is to not include family and friends if you’re not absolutely sure your partner is ready to commit. But of course, there are other pros and cons, which often go unmentioned. At the end of the day, it’s important to sit back and imagine what the “perfect proposal” looks like to you. But we’ve listed a few things to keep in mind.

Pros:

• Share the Experience

  The best part about including family and friends is sharing the experience. This is definitely a memory that will be engraved in the timeline of your relationship. It’s a good idea to include them, if ten years down the road when reflecting on your proposal, you want them in said memory. It also multiplies the excitement and allows for an impromptu celebration afterwards. Just make sure to have enough champagne!

• Support Group

  Lets face it- there’s a lot of planning that goes into an engagement proposal. It’s nice to have someone to bounce ideas off or help carry out the big surprise. Though if you want an expert, Paparazzi Proposals will be there in a heartbeat.

• Announcement

  This is an efficient and fabulous way of announcing your proposal to all your loved ones at once. It can be exhausting having to contact everyone one by one and reflect on every detail, specially if they’re the type to be insulted over reading about it on Facebook. If your dream proposal includes they’re in awe reactions and excitement all at once, then it’s best not to leave them out.

Cons:

• Intimacy

  An engagement proposal is a very personal and pivoting moment in a relationship. Family and friends (some more than others) can potentially ruin the intimacy. If the perfect proposal isn’t followed by a celebration and lots of hugs and kisses in your engagement fantasy, it might be a better idea to postpone the party for another day. If you would rather indulge in solitude with your partner, that might be made difficult with aunt Sally in between.

• The Secret

  A secret stops being a secret once it’s told to someone else. And an engagement proposal is the secret of all secrets and not everyone is strong-willed enough to handle it. It’s unfortunate (but imperative) to be wary of who you trust. Because once a secret begins to travel, you never know where it might go. The last person you want it to get to is the one receiving the diamond ring.

• Bad Blood

  Just like Taylor Swift and Katy Perry, not all families and friends get along. Something to look out for is unnecessary tension between individuals known to dislike each other (or worse, cause drama) . If they are trusted to be adult enough to appreciate the situation and not begin a fuzz, great! But if the last get-together ended with drinks being thrown and specific words being shouted, maybe it’s best to leave them out of the proposal.